Potty Talk Goes Wild!

Yes, faithful followers, its time (finally!) for everyone’s favorite Partout: Potty Talk, a photographic journey through loos along the way.

Far be it from us to judge since we are the ones who carry cameras into every latrine, but it remains humbling that Potty Talk is always the most-read Partout we publish from a trip. So much for our literary illusions.

Two things need to be established from the outset about this restroom report. Squat toilets are still the norm in Asia (and most of the world, for that matter) so they are not ipso facto “wild.” Only squat toilets that distinguished themselves in some way have made the cut and, as you will soon see, they are only the beginning of the privy story.

Let’s start with loo locations. No matter how humble or remote, WCs were widely available whether we were, off-road or on.

Some may have required sharp eyes to spot.

Others required a bit of a hike.

One involved getting around a tree.

Another required crossing a moat.

No matter! We (okay, usually Doris) were always grateful to find one before desperation set in.

We came across A-frame loos.

And scenic loos.

Actually, a lot of scenic loos.

Even indoor loos with scenic views.

We visited politically motivated loos. An outhouse at the end of the trail in Ala Archa National Park in Kyrgyzstan was furnished with a pristine Western-style pit toilet and faux marble walls.

When we asked our guide how a hike-in location ended up with such a throne, he said it was because government officials bring visitors there by helicopter and need to make a good impression.

Potty plumbing was so wildly variable it begged for a rating system.

This would be a 1-star toilet, the most basic style. (No comment or the photographer’s the composition.)

Note that for all its minimalism, the booth in the wilds is neat and contains TP, fresh water and a broom for sweeping up. The design might be a 1, but the amenities were a 5.

You can see why the next one earned 2 stars: a platform is always appreciated to keep one’s feet out of harm’s way.

3 stars went to potties with platforms of porcelain or stainless steel. Opening a door to find one of these was like finding the toy at the bottom of Cracker Jack.

This 3-star brings up a WC feature that puzzled Doris until we had a female guide she could ask about the ubiquitous toilet teapot. Okay, it’s not a teapot, but the pitcher has that this-is-the-handle-this-is-the-spout shape we’ve all sung about. Some were plastic, some were metal, but no bathroom was without one. 

Doris thought they might be some sort of manual bidet device but, if so, uh, what were the mechanics?

The answer was all practicality: people (men, too) know that, as long as they can find a WC, they can find water to fulfill the Muslim requirement of purification (ablutions) before offering their prayers. (Aside: we attribute eating with abandon for a month without suffering Tamerlane’s revenge to the inviolate rituals of washing in the region.)

Besides water, virtually every last john, no matter how remote, was supplied with toilet paper and a clean waste can (see the 1-star toilet above). Doris kept thinking, “Who comes out here and services these stations?” She never found out.

There were other unsolved mysteries along the way. Why was every single room we occupied – even the yurt without a toilet of its own – supplied with two hygienically wrapped toothbrushes? And why would a hotel post this helpful tip above its water faucets when the hot and cold came out the opposite directions? (Water temp direction was not standardized anywhere in the Stans, sometimes not even in the same bathroom).

There were the usual pleas not to flush the paper, stand on the toilet seats, etc. Though many were creative, our Most Eye-Catching Bathroom Graphics prize goes to the restaurant Joy in Bukhara for the sign below and the one at the top of the blog. They were extra fun because they came with no English version.

(The graphic at the top of the blog asks, “Did you forget to flush the water?”)

Also as usual for Partout, the most disappointing public bathrooms we encountered were the ones awaiting us in the United States. Immediately beyond immigration at LAX, at the first restroom a visitor would enter, trash was all over the floor and paper was everywhere but in the TP dispensers. Don’t blame visitors: US public bathrooms are consistently worse than anything we use abroad. The keepers of public bathrooms in the US could take a lesson from the loos of Central Asia.

Your Questions Answered 

(With apologies for the ones we missed), Barry asked: Doesn’t it take a lot of time to produce Partout? Where do you get all that information? (Full disclosure: Barry asked this in person, but he gave us an excuse to tell you.)

YES! Producing Partout on the go is a commitment, but we have a system that helps make it manageable.

First, because we try to read up on our destinations before going, we reach them with questions already burning to be answered. Bride kidnapping is an example. We learned about the practice in the terrific book “Sovietstan” by Erika Fatland, and that primed us to ask every single guide whether it was practiced in their country.

Next, we grill anyone we can corner about local customs and policies. (Yes, we do take notes.) We heard about Turkmenistan’s ban on black cars from our Kazakh guide and its ban on mani-pedi’s from our Bukhara guide. Locals know things we would never come across about their regions.

Finally, Doris fact-checks numbers and representations sort of obsessively because as a dear old friend (you know who you are) always says … once a newsie, always a newsie. 

Which brings us to cornerstone of Partout. Doris and Louis were both professional journalists. We arrive in a new place full of curiosity, questions and a complete lack of inhibition about asking anyone anything. We are both always dialed into, “What is the story here?” What is unusual or unexpected? What is “the thing” that knits all the random sights and experiences and conversations together into something worth sharing?

Find that, and we find Partout, and so do you.

Coming Next: Louis’s LAST Turn (for Now)